Foodie jokes and riddles for Beggars’ Night

jack-o-lanternsOn October 30, children in Des Moines will go door to door, trick-or-treating.

Not on October 31, you say? Isn’t October 31 Halloween?

Yes, it is. But some of our traditions are a little odd, and thus wee ones in Des Moines go door-knocking the evening of October 30th, which locals call Beggars’ Night. The tradition started over 70 years ago, to keep little candy-loving kids safe and separate from teen and grown-up revelers (and their rowdy shenanigans).

The city council, on passing this “tricks-or-eats” ordinance, stipulated that “eats should be given only if such a ‘trick’ as a song, a poem, a stunt or a musical number, either solo or in group participation, is presented.”

Thus, the second odd thing about trick-or-treating in Des Moines: requests from grown-ups for kids to tell them jokes.


knock-knock-jokes-funny-picturesToward that end, we have provided you a list of really corny, relatively innocuous knock-knock jokes and puns, all with some sort of food theme.  Use them for yourself, or print off copies to share with young friends. Everybody needs a little food-based levity now and then.

You’re welcome.

What do vegan zombies eat?
Graaaaaaaains!

A kid comes into the doctor’s office with a carrot poking out of his eye, a pickle coming out of his nose, and a banana in his ear. The doctor takes one look and says, “Nurse! This boy hasn’t been eating properly!”

What’s a frog’s favorite pop?
Croak-a-cola!

What do you call cheese that belongs to someone else?
Nacho cheese!

What’s the difference between pea soup and scrambled eggs?
Anyone can scramble eggs.

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here.”
The mushroom protests, “Why not? I’m a fun-gi.”

Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Let us in and we’ll tell you!


elephant_refrigerator_via-playbuzzWhat’s a Honeymoon Salad?
Lettuce alone, without dressing.

A cannibal says, “I don’t like my brother-in-law.”
His friend says, “That’s okay. Just eat the noodles.”

Why don’t cannibals eat comedians?
They taste funny.

Why did the lettuce blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing!

One hundred beans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve alcohol to beans.”
The beans reply, “It’s okay; we’re already baked.”

How can you tell if an elephant has been in the refrigerator?
Footprints in the butter.

Beer nuts cost a dollar, but how much do deer nuts cost?
Less than a buck!

Why was the fro-yo so bad at tennis?
He had a soft serve!

What is black and white, green and bumpy?
A pickle in a tuxedo!

Why did the fisherman throw peanut butter into the ocean?
To go with the jellyfish!

Why is it bad to tell a joke to an egg?
Because it might crack up!

What kind of nut always has a cold?
Cashews!


Pear2What kind of fruit do twins like best?
Pears!

What are the best kind of keys?
Cookies!

What do race horses eat?
Fast food!

What did the hamburger say to the pickle?
You’re dill-icious!

What do you have when you fill a carton with ducklings?
A box of quackers!

What starts with “t,” ends with “t,” and is filled with “t?”
A teapot!

Where do the KC Royals eat dinner?
At home plate – and they have a ball!

How does the man in the moon eat dinner?
In a satellite dish!

Why was my dad staring at the frozen juice?
Because it said “concentrate.”

What do you call a stolen yam?
A hot potato!

What is small and green and goes to summer camp?
A Brussels scout!

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